Well, I finally finished the adoption scrapbook on September 20th. I'd been working on the scrapbook for about 6 months. It was definitely a labor of love. So many times, I put a page together & then tore it apart, b/c it just wasn't what liked.
We had to print off 10 books to be shown to prospective birth mothers. This is actually how the birth mothers "choose" us to be the adoptive parents. They (birth mothers) review the scrapbooks & choose which couple "stands out" in their minds as good prospective parents. We had the books printed at Kinkos w/ spiral binding, & then I took bright-colored ribbons & ran them through the spirals to make it look like the books were tied with ribbon. They ended up looking really awesome!
I took the books down to the agency on 9/22 with our contract & final paperwork. That same day, Brent paid our first deposit for the adoption (let me just say it was 5 figures). I can't even begin to explain the emotions that went through me as I drove down to Richmond with those books. I've been working on the books for so long, it was a little difficult to give them up.....I know it sounds really weird. Plus, I finally realized that this was the closest we'd ever been to having a child. I was feeling excited & a "little" overwhelmed at the same time. Once I gave the books to Jennifer, she told me that we were on the open list & just waiting to be chosen by a birth mother. She also said that this is the "hardest" part of the adoption - waiting, waiting, & more waiting............ Need I say more - It's almost like the waiting we had to do during the 10 days b/w the in vitro & pregnancy tests - except there really isn't an "end date" on the list.
By 9/29 I actually found out that our profile had actually been SHOWN for the first time. That brings me to the present - It's been 2 weeks now, & we still haven't heard any news. I'm guessing that the birth mother just didn't feel a connection with us, so we'll continue to wait & pray. It's probably for the best though...... I would rather her be sure that we are her choice before we proceed any further. I do have to admit that the waiting is killing me though!!!! I have definitely learned patience through this whole ordeal, and I know that it will finally happen when God is ready - but it's very hard not knowing anything........ I'd like to think if this were a "traditional" pregnancy, I would probably be in the first 2-10 weeks of pregnancy (before you ever find out you're pregnant).
Signing off for now....... I'd like to post a copy of the profile on here, but I'm not sure how. If I figure out how to attach a PDF, I'll post it..... If not, then you won't be able to see it.
Thanks to all of our friends & family for the prayers & support. We love you all!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Home Study
So, I'm just now having time to update the blog..... still quite a bit behind. Hopefully, I'll catch up before we have a baby in our house.
On August 29th, Brent & I had our Home Study visit with our Social Worker. If you've ever watched the movie "Juno" & saw how Jennifer Garner's character prepared for the match visit, you will know what I went through on 8/28. Shannon came over & helped me clean the house from top to bottom. We worked for hours getting everything just like I wanted it. I couldn't have done it w/o her!!!! So much was going on that week - school starting, finishing profile, home study, & Kara's baby shower. I thought my brain was going to explode!
Once Friday got there, Brent & I went out to a nice, relaxed lunch w/ Mary to pass the time. We met with Jennifer at 2pm. I was very nervous about the visit, b/c essentially our ability to adopt a child depended on what she thought about our home & about us / our ability to be parents. I knew there was a lot riding on the visit. Plus, we had spent weeks preparing our written profiles (~ 100 pages total) about our childhood, values, parenting strategies, etc. Some of the questions on that questionnaire were CRAZY........ I mean, really, it's hard to know how you're going to discipline your child when he/she is 16 y.o....... That's a long time from now, & I'll be MUCH older!!!!
The visit w/ Jennifer went extremely well. It only lasted ~2.5 hours. She is pregnant with her 2nd baby, so I ended up feeling very comfortable talking to her about being a mom. The cats even behaved!!! Of course, Bowman had to come out & prance around in front of her so she would know he is the "king" cat of the house....... not for long though - he's going to have issues when the baby finally comes home!
Right before Jennifer left, she said good bye & gave us a big hug. She also told us "unofficially" that we had been approved. I was not able to finish the scrapbook profiles, so my goal quickly shifted to finish them so we could start being shown as soon as possible....... Things have gone so fast up to this point! It's exciting, scary, & fun all at the same time - WHEW!!!!
On August 29th, Brent & I had our Home Study visit with our Social Worker. If you've ever watched the movie "Juno" & saw how Jennifer Garner's character prepared for the match visit, you will know what I went through on 8/28. Shannon came over & helped me clean the house from top to bottom. We worked for hours getting everything just like I wanted it. I couldn't have done it w/o her!!!! So much was going on that week - school starting, finishing profile, home study, & Kara's baby shower. I thought my brain was going to explode!
Once Friday got there, Brent & I went out to a nice, relaxed lunch w/ Mary to pass the time. We met with Jennifer at 2pm. I was very nervous about the visit, b/c essentially our ability to adopt a child depended on what she thought about our home & about us / our ability to be parents. I knew there was a lot riding on the visit. Plus, we had spent weeks preparing our written profiles (~ 100 pages total) about our childhood, values, parenting strategies, etc. Some of the questions on that questionnaire were CRAZY........ I mean, really, it's hard to know how you're going to discipline your child when he/she is 16 y.o....... That's a long time from now, & I'll be MUCH older!!!!
The visit w/ Jennifer went extremely well. It only lasted ~2.5 hours. She is pregnant with her 2nd baby, so I ended up feeling very comfortable talking to her about being a mom. The cats even behaved!!! Of course, Bowman had to come out & prance around in front of her so she would know he is the "king" cat of the house....... not for long though - he's going to have issues when the baby finally comes home!
Right before Jennifer left, she said good bye & gave us a big hug. She also told us "unofficially" that we had been approved. I was not able to finish the scrapbook profiles, so my goal quickly shifted to finish them so we could start being shown as soon as possible....... Things have gone so fast up to this point! It's exciting, scary, & fun all at the same time - WHEW!!!!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Why we have chosen to adopt...... The background
I'm setting up this blog to keep all of our family & friends updated on the progress of the upcoming adoption of our first baby. For those who aren't aware of why we have chosen to have children through adoption, I want to give some background information......
Brent & I (Meagan) have always wanted to have children. We thought we’d travel around the world/US for a few years after we married, so we waited to have children. We had been married for about 3 years when we found out that we may have some difficulty getting pregnant. In 2002, my fallopian tube ruptured, and I had to have surgery to remove it. After that surgery, I stopped taking birth control. Two years later, in 2004, I had to have the other fallopian tube removed for the same reason. At that time, the doctor said that we would have to go through in vitro fertilization (IVF) in order to get pregnant.
Shortly after the second surgery, we started the IVF process. We ended up completing 3 cycles of the IVF with many disappointments and losses. Our first IVF resulted in a pregnancy for about 10 days, which I lost at Christmas in 2004. We started a second cycle right after the first, but that IVF didn’t “take”. Those cycles were a huge loss to us, so we decided to take a year “break” from IVF. We took that time for me to finish graduate school and to travel. In 2006, we completed a third round of IVF with bad news again.
After the third IVF, I also found out that I was in the early stages of ovarian failure (at 29 years old). Our doctors did not hold out much hope that we would ever be able to get pregnant, even with the help of science. Hearing news like that (with hopes of having children) was a huge blow to our family. Brent & I went through the normal stages of grief……sadness, anger, hopelessness.
But out of that grief, we realized what God had really wanted us to see all along. I had always had a ‘feeling’ that it was our destiny to adopt. God was telling us in every way possible, but before that time we hadn’t been ready to hear Him. After all the disappointments, our faith became a lot stronger, and we finally listened to what He was trying to say. We now know beyond the shadow of a doubt that God has called us to be adoptive parents!
Over the past year, we have developed a peace and desire to grow our family through adoption. We know that we will love an adopted child as much as we would love a biological child. It gives us so much joy to think about the family we will build through this process.
Brent & I (Meagan) have always wanted to have children. We thought we’d travel around the world/US for a few years after we married, so we waited to have children. We had been married for about 3 years when we found out that we may have some difficulty getting pregnant. In 2002, my fallopian tube ruptured, and I had to have surgery to remove it. After that surgery, I stopped taking birth control. Two years later, in 2004, I had to have the other fallopian tube removed for the same reason. At that time, the doctor said that we would have to go through in vitro fertilization (IVF) in order to get pregnant.
Shortly after the second surgery, we started the IVF process. We ended up completing 3 cycles of the IVF with many disappointments and losses. Our first IVF resulted in a pregnancy for about 10 days, which I lost at Christmas in 2004. We started a second cycle right after the first, but that IVF didn’t “take”. Those cycles were a huge loss to us, so we decided to take a year “break” from IVF. We took that time for me to finish graduate school and to travel. In 2006, we completed a third round of IVF with bad news again.
After the third IVF, I also found out that I was in the early stages of ovarian failure (at 29 years old). Our doctors did not hold out much hope that we would ever be able to get pregnant, even with the help of science. Hearing news like that (with hopes of having children) was a huge blow to our family. Brent & I went through the normal stages of grief……sadness, anger, hopelessness.
But out of that grief, we realized what God had really wanted us to see all along. I had always had a ‘feeling’ that it was our destiny to adopt. God was telling us in every way possible, but before that time we hadn’t been ready to hear Him. After all the disappointments, our faith became a lot stronger, and we finally listened to what He was trying to say. We now know beyond the shadow of a doubt that God has called us to be adoptive parents!
Over the past year, we have developed a peace and desire to grow our family through adoption. We know that we will love an adopted child as much as we would love a biological child. It gives us so much joy to think about the family we will build through this process.
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